New Wings

Hey everyone! How are you? 

Today's post is going to be rather serious. I'm going to talk about my FEELS. Warning: If you hate emo feelings, leave now! Okay, time to be serious.

...

These previous few months, I've been feeling really down. I wasn't my usual self. Usually, I'm more of a chill person. I enjoy the little things in life and I was always positive about things. But after meeting a lot of people in the real world, I'm not going to lie, there were a lot of times where I feel like my faith in humanity starts to decay. Living in Egypt, which is completely different from the environment back home really hit me hard. The people and the place. I'm not the friendliest person out there, but I appreciate friendships and I have feelings too of course. I am a naive person, that I admit. What I really hate is the fact that people use that to their advantage. They only befriended me when it benefits them. It's not that I want people to pay attention to me all the time or anything like that, I just want people to be honest with me. There were times when I feel completely hopeless and alone. I feel that I'm not worth it and the worst. I am not going to lie, there were times when I feel like dissapearing. I wanted to give up with myself. 

Plus, I find it really annoying that people around here say "no, you shouldn't do that" a lot of times. It's like you're not allowed to get out of your bubble. You must stay in the circle. Do what the others do. Some even go to the extent of mocking my interests, mocking me.

I was confused. I was sad. I was unhappy. I feel depressed.

Thus, I sort of developed a new phobia, "Anthropophobia" which is basically a fear of people in crowded places or people. 

It's not like I scream whenever I see a person. No. In my case, I try to avoid people when I feel overwhelmed. I'm not really sure why, but I tend to blame myself a lot. For no particular reason. I fear of hurting the people around me.

I woke up one night, completely hating myself.

...

But then, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Why should I care when people mock or look down on me? Why should I listen to their rambles and why should I care about their gazes as they pass me. I didn't care then and I shouldn't care now.

The best thing about this is that I was able to get to know who my real friends are. Not to mention, my family's a BIG help. 

Everyday, I try to find a thing that I love about myself. As vain as it may sound, I'm trying to fall in love with myself. True story.

You don't need to stay in the bubble. EXPLORE.

You are who you are. Stop being a freaking puppet.

Do good deeds no matter how bad people treat you. Tell what you always tell yourself when someone annoys you or make fun of you, "this person is here to make my life interesting." 

Smile!

Never lose faith.

Appreciate your family and friends. 

Be confident.

Be happy!

Stay positive :D

Do the things that you love and in what you believe is right.

Have fun! 

The feeling of letting go of the things that are not important is simply amazing. It's like you've found a NEW WORLD!

Now, feel good about yourself. Take in the gold, get rid of the crap!

-Yang